It just goes to show when you are relaxed, in your own space and you give something a go without even thinking about it too hard it just kind of happens! And yes it is a bit of a h not taking your legs up slowly and also using the wall but I DID IT! Something I thought I might never be able to do and I did it!

We can tell ourselves all the time how we "can't" but really we can because you never know until you just break free of fear and doubt and you just dive in head first and DO!

I am still shocked that it all happened and I keep practicing and seeing if I can build strength to get up and down correctly and properly, but my oh my - small achievement is better than no achievement at all! I think it proves that what you tell yourself can be such a dangerous thing.

Self doubt and fear of failure can really hold you back. Sometimes a little bit of faith and maybe even a few falls  and picking yourself up and giving it a go again is what is really needed. It is so easy to beat ones self up on how we look, how smart we are, how good we are at things - but essentially when you strip it all way it is about you - and living one life where you get to try and experience new and amazing things all the time because you can and because you are able and have been given all the tools to do so.

My mindfulness going forward is going to be focused around a little more self belief - Now just to take some of my own advice...

Last year and this year I have been able to share my love and passion for yoga with friends which for me is very special. I believe that it connects people and helps us break out of our comfort zones together. I love that I have introduced friends to something that they now also love and enjoy. Its been nice to see and follow their journey and to feel happy and supportive of them. My biggest longterm goal will be at some point (in the distant future) to do a yoga teachers course and my first and foremost yoga goal is to save up for a Yoga Retreat in Bali that my friend and I are planning to go to together. (and that I have been drooling over for years).

Baby steps and self love are apart of my yoga journey this year. I remember feeling frustrated about a move I could not do because my back could not and would not ease up in the position, then I thought back to when I started and how I could not even do a simple Chaturanga pose, but now I can. Progress is key, even if its slow, I am making peace with the fact that I need to accept that things take time and with the right amount of focus and positivity they can be achieved. Its so easy to put ourselves down and focus on what we can't do instead of what we can do. 

Neil always says to me, it's not a competition and if your not having fun doing something (sports related and other) then you should not be doing it. It should make you happy and make you feel good, it should not be effort or frustrate you. He is 100 percent right.

So for all the yoga fans lets make 2015 about getting on the mat with love, happiness, and positive intention!

So as I have mentioned about a million times... I am not allowed to exercise until I am fully recovered from this whole meningitis thing. Naturally I am bleak...it came at the worst time. A time where I was super amped to get my summer body one! Now I have to put all that on hold. Naturally I think too much about it and stress about it, but most of all I just miss exercise. For the second time in my life I am not allowed to do something I love.

Is my body telling me to calm down and reassess the situation? It could be. Maybe I am not really concentration on my health and recovery and instead focusing on trying to get fitter and look more 'summer ready'. What I should be doing is focusing on healing myself and not pushing for the wrong things. As my boyfriend pointed out - it is not forever. I now feel when I can do yoga again, even though I will need to start from scratch, it will be an opportunity to really focused on yoga and have a more healing, holistic approach to it. I am basically getting a second chance to start over and this so it right :) (But I must at least meditate and work on that!)