by - 4:02:00 PM

I would love to do yoga more - it's a general feeling and really no excuse other than time and the lack of it but I when I can't go to class I do try at home but I find class easier because them I am more disciplined and I enjoy the rhythm and flow of someone teaching me as well as feeling the energy of other people in the class. At home I get a tad distracted! 

One thing that I do not enjoy about yoga is doing anything upside down. It freaks me out and makes me feel super out of control (no surprises there). I had meningitis two years ago so spending time upside down is also not ideal in terms of recovery (long term side affects of meningitis can take a couple of years to subside). So after been told not to hang out upside down to much I have pretty much avoided it all together. Any pose that requires me to put my head back makes me feel slightly panicked and as I am tall I always feel like the "fall" is going to be a lot worse than it probably will because there is a lot of limb all over the show (can you tell by now control is a big deal for me LOL). 

But in all, I have always had this great vision of been able to do a badass headstand and other cool things because hell - it looks great and probably works your core like a boss.

I had kind of resorted to the fact that I would only ever do "preparation poses" in yoga for anything headstand or upside down related.

Then, one night I was playing this epic music - Putumayo World Music to be exact and I decided to pull out my yoga mat and give a headstand a go against the wall. What promoted this I have NO IDEA! But I went with it.

I did the prep a few times and then "piked" my one leg up against the wall and then the other and BAM!!!!!!!

It just goes to show when you are relaxed, in your own space and you give something a go without even thinking about it too hard it just kind of happens! And yes it is a bit of a h not taking your legs up slowly and also using the wall but I DID IT! Something I thought I might never be able to do and I did it!

We can tell ourselves all the time how we "can't" but really we can because you never know until you just break free of fear and doubt and you just dive in head first and DO!

I am still shocked that it all happened and I keep practicing and seeing if I can build strength to get up and down correctly and properly, but my oh my - small achievement is better than no achievement at all! I think it proves that what you tell yourself can be such a dangerous thing.

Self doubt and fear of failure can really hold you back. Sometimes a little bit of faith and maybe even a few falls  and picking yourself up and giving it a go again is what is really needed. It is so easy to beat ones self up on how we look, how smart we are, how good we are at things - but essentially when you strip it all way it is about you - and living one life where you get to try and experience new and amazing things all the time because you can and because you are able and have been given all the tools to do so.

My mindfulness going forward is going to be focused around a little more self belief - Now just to take some of my own advice...

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