• I felt out of touch with my body 
• My anxiety was getting worse and I could not pin point my emotions
• My weight went up and I felt demotivated (no necessarily from the pill)
• I experienced symptoms like swelling (something that is not genetic or in my family) my ankles and feet became puffy
• I no longer had a period which felt weird and unnatural (although convenient)
• I stopped using sleeping tables after three years and wanted to be "pill free" for a while 
• I realised that my body just needed a break, I literally could feel my body telling me it was time for a change
• My skin had never really gone through the pubescent stages it needed to and I didn't want to wait until I was wanting to fall pregnant one day, going off the pill and experience every possible hormonal change as well as bad skin
• I didn't understand my emotions and felt like I didn't have control of them 
• I just didn't feel ME and I felt stinted, stuck, plateaued and average

• To my surprise my period regulated straight away (different for every woman) 
• My skin did a full reboot of me being 16 and basically jumped into borderline adult acne mode (mainly at a particular time of the month) BUT in saying this, my skins healing time has improved drastically and taking zinc tablets does help (the skin issue has been the hardest part for.)
• Weirdly enough my sleep cycle improved too
• My energy levels improved
• My ankles, feet and calves no longer felt painfully swollen 
• My various emotions in a month now made sense - hello hormones
• I started reading articles about hormones and how to balance them: Mind Body Green is a helpful source of info
• My weight stayed the same - but my motivation for exercise started coming back and I stopped having so much water retention and feeling swollen all. of. the. time.
• I felt far more conscious of my body and the different things it was experiencing during the changes and transition which felt like a huge positive 
• I actually feel a lot happier and healthier in general

• You can use CLUE  to track your period, ovulation / fertility and PMS. 
• You can use it even if you are not on contraceptive and if you are, they list pretty much every single form that is out there
• Clue generates cycle reports each month and emails them to you
• It tracks everything (see examples below) 
• You can track emotions and habits even when you do not have your period
• You can link CLUE to your friends: really helpful when you are ugly crying on the phone and your bestie reminds you that you are smack bang in the middle of hardcore PMS
• It helps predict the future - clue starts learning about you, so when your next period will be fpr example
• Clue offers something called "cycle science" to help you understand your symptoms
• The list is pretty endless when it comes to using this app!  
• It has a meditation option and a host of other cool emotions you can plug in to help track your emotions

 Here is an example from my app:

So the day before yesterday I decided to do this post - it took time and effort and I published it with pride and guess what...... instead of deleting a draft post - I deleted this one. To sooth this meaningless drama - I ate half a slab of chocolate. So this is my second attempt. Holding thumbs.

I am not a huge beauty product person because I have always had sensitive skin (and a limited budget) and because I am the kind of person when trying to find a product in a store that I don't know anything about but really know I need, I generally break out into a cold sweat and hide in a corner so I can ask twitter what I should do. So, I like to try and keep things simple and have learnt over the years to not buy products "just because" or "because they look nice/ have pretty packaging/ or because its on sale". Now when I find something that really works for my skin I try stick to it :)

These are my four favourite face and body essentials that work wonders in summer and really work for sensitive skin like mine. The thing I like most about these products is that a little goes a long way and they are all affordable and easy to stock up on.

Eucerin Sun Protection SPF 50 for Face

Ok I will admit - I am a little late to the game with using sunblock/sunscreen consistently! I know, I know! I have always tried and used tined moisturises with a SPF etc but most sunblock has caused my skin to break out or literally slides off my face. This is truly a sunscreen that is great for your face and neck and it is water resistant! I use this bad boy everyday especially after I noticed that sitting in endless traffic was causing my face to burn and develop sun spots on the one side - eeeek. While sun damage is not ideal and I am a little late to the game, I try my best to keep my face out the sun and this really works for me as a daily sunscreen that lasts.

Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cleaner

Honestly in my opinion the holy grail of face wash. I have always struggled with my skin. Having Mediterranean genes means oily skin, my mom refused to let me take any medication for my skin (which I am kind of happy about now in my old age) so I struggled through people telling me what to do and how to solve the problem when I WAS already doing all of those things (drink water, avoid oily junk food, etc etc). I also went through every face wash I could find....literally!!! I came across Kiehl's and there is no turning back. Its the only face wash that is gentle on my skin and also makes it feel incredibly clean without drying it out or leaving it oily and patchy. A small drop goes along way to a foam party on your face! Full of vitamin E and avo oil its a real dream and I would like to think its helped with controlling and cleaning up a lot of my skin problems. This winner is in the 200's price range and last me several months - yes SEVERAL!

Nivea Skin Firming Hydration Body Lotion with Q10

Please can I personally thank the person that created this product? Not sure if its really good marketing or really in my mind but after seeing my friends results from using the lotion I was totally convinced and went out and bought a bottle. I apply it every night after a shower to my thighs, stomach and hips and I can see my skin is looking smoother and firmer! Do not apply in the middle of summer in the insane heat and then leave the house - this is really not a good idea! A hot shower and a good gentle massage followed by a good nights rest will almost guarantee you wake up feeling like a leggy goddess.


Bourjois Healthy Mix Foundation

Yup been down this road before of poorly matched base or cheap foundation that causes drama and even expensive foundation that was well, just expensive and pointless. Then finally!!!!!!!!! This beaut of a foundation made its way into my life after having a magical love affair with BB Cream I decided it was time to step up the coverage for certain events. It is glorious and leaves a dewy fresh look! Best part - its from Clicks, inexpensive and a little bit truly goes a long way in terms of coverage. It doesn't cake and it is easy to touch up. I found my dream colour and then they ran out of stock / may not be stocking my colour anymore (weeps dramatically) but after scooping out the last drop of my first bottle I managed to find my colour!

Do you use any of the above products? what kind of results have they given you? I would love to know which four products work for you and why you love them!

Its taken several tries to write this post because I can see the positives and the negatives of 2015. I started writing this post more than a month ago and have written and deleted it about a million times.

I haven't made a mood board in awhile - I love piecing together stories and recently noticed the trend of a more eastern and exotic look in fashion and I LOVE IT!

These words are not my own - I wish they were, but to be honest they sum up everything I have felt lately and everything I have wanted to say. Sometimes words so powerful can shake you and wake you up. They can change a simple thought, they can push you in a the right direction and they can motivate you to see things you may have never seen before.

The food is beautifully presented and delicious, its hard not to feel relaxed and content. Felt really spoilt to experience this amazing food in a beautiful setting with such a special person. What a treat!

In December Neil and I embarked on a mini road trip that took us to three different spots, I will elaborate on each one with a post soon, but for now this post is focused on my surf lessons at our second road trip stop, the beautiful J-bay!

One of my goals this year is to be able to surf, without Neil having to literally help me lug a a massive board in and out of the water and basically push me into every wave! Not that he doesn't do a fantastic job keeping me calm and encouraging me to actually stay on the board instead of jumping off every time I think a wave is too big, when in actual fact its a tiny baby foamy. I have no shame.

I obviously developed this interest because the boyf surfs and by surfs I mean its a way of life, part of his DNA and it's his biggest passion that he has been doing for pretty much 20 years. I have grown to appreciate the sport and done my own research into it so I can at least stay up to date on conversations and also share in his passion for it because it is pretty damn exciting and cool to be perfectly honest. It got a whole lot better when I started following the Women's ASP World Tour and suddenly realised that female surfing is pretty badass and super progressive! There are a host of female surfers that I follow on social media and they are not just about looking pretty (which they all do) they are all incredible skilled in the surf and very inspiring! 

I have been out at Muizenberg a few times with a rented board (or massive door more like) and its always fun, its very shallow and pretty crowed so on a busy day it gets a bit hectic. Because I am naturally a competitive person who needs to get everything right the first time, Neil had to keep reminding me its about having fun and also about building confidence in the ocean. We often head out to Koel Baai and go for swims in the ocean and whenever we are anywhere near the sea I make the effort to swim and build confidence in the sea, I also love the sea so that helps. Neil always says you should never fear the sea, you should only show it respect.

I was really excited to have some private lessons in J-bay, not that Neil isn't a brilliant surf instructor, he is! But he does get all my sob stories and obviously is completely empathetic and understanding to my competitive nature, and he has surfed for so long so often his instructions are "Just go" "Just stand up"! Like sure, it's SO EASY!

So back to the private surf lessons, it's always good to have an outsider or surf school teach you how to surf as they take it right back to the basics. I started out my first lesson with Son Surf School instructor Kelvin who is a legend and couches some of the top SA Billabong female surfers (no pressure Nat's). He obviously took the fact that I had been out a few times with Neil as me being a bit better than I actually am, so before I knew it we were in deep water with actual waves coming in and me basically manoeuvring  a massive mini mal around the ocean. Of course we started out with surf basics on the shore at the main beach, but once you are out there away from the foamies it's a little scary and you are not thinking about the perfect standing pose! kelvin did a great job at keeping me calm, chatting to me throughout, offering encouragement and also giving great tips. I will share some of my own tips a little later in this post.

So first day success, after getting endlessly thrashed I eventually got up and actually stayed up long enough to pretty much ride a (tiny) wave. YAY! It was an incredible feeling and a massive confidence boost, best of all Neil witnessed the whole thing from his spot on the beach. That night I felt pretty pumped so we booked a second lesson for the next morning very early. The conditions were a lot different and a lot more shallow with the water pretty much sucking up off the sand. In order to document my success (ego from day before) I agreed to have the photographer join us in the water to get some pics of me getting barrelled LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

I now see how in deeper water it actually makes a big difference and it is a whole lot better because when you come off a board in shallow water the ocean floor is not very comfortable and the sand is not so gentle when you land on your butt.... lesson learnt. Although I didn't have as much success on day two and most of the photos are of me falling on my face, I still went out and challenged myself and also gave it my all.  I wish I had pictures from day one so I could look more badass but these are the best of the lot so I will share them with you.




                       Me on a wave at the back. I promise you it was a lot bigger in my mind


       
                                                    Me taking forever to stand up



                      Me about to stand up and then soon after falling on my face - in the foamies.

So all in all surfing in J-bay was really fun and uncrowded even thought there are a lot of learners in the water you always feel safe and everyone is very supportive! I want to keep it up for sure and do some more sessions out at Muizenberg - and become really badass on my own LOL.

 Here is a list of my findings and tips from Neil, surf instructor, friends and my own experience.

• The waves are never as big and rough as they seem when your lying on a board. It is just water - especially if your in a shallow section.
• Practice "jumping up" on the actual beach, go from lying to standing and keep practicing even at the gym - muscle memory is pretty amazing and will help when you are out there.
• Focus on your core, use your arms to get you up, don't just try stand only using your legs.
• Make sure you lie on the centre of the board, not too far forward or back.
• Practice a "paddle motion" out of the water, again to build muscle memory and strength.
• If you fall or bail, put your hands in front of your face to protect you from having the board fly into you.
• Be aware of the people around you.
• If you are getting tired, rest and then go back out. Like anything you have to build up strength.
• Laugh at yourself, the majority of people who get it right the first time are kids, mainly because they are fearless and they are so tiny they can simply pop up so easily, plus they have no expectations and it's pure enjoyment for them.
• You are always safe when you are with instructors and friends who are experienced, trust them.
• Falling in the sea is a lot less painful and dangerous than falling on your face on land, take comfort in that.
• A 90min lesson is a good amount of time to build confidence and have fun.
• If you are surfing further out and bigger waves try and figure out when you should be duck-diving under or going over the wave (this is my struggle and I end of bailing).
• Have fun and laugh, its suppose to be fun and its also a seriously good work-out (google surfer girls please - abs for days).
• Find what board works for you and it doesn't matter how big it is.
• Go as often as you can and build confidence around it.
• Find a surf buddy who is at the same level as you so you can progress together.
• Stand up - just do it, don't think about it, don't take too long, don't worry about falling, just get up, stand up and do it because you can and when you do it feels absolutely amazing!

Last year and this year I have been able to share my love and passion for yoga with friends which for me is very special. I believe that it connects people and helps us break out of our comfort zones together. I love that I have introduced friends to something that they now also love and enjoy. Its been nice to see and follow their journey and to feel happy and supportive of them. My biggest longterm goal will be at some point (in the distant future) to do a yoga teachers course and my first and foremost yoga goal is to save up for a Yoga Retreat in Bali that my friend and I are planning to go to together. (and that I have been drooling over for years).

Baby steps and self love are apart of my yoga journey this year. I remember feeling frustrated about a move I could not do because my back could not and would not ease up in the position, then I thought back to when I started and how I could not even do a simple Chaturanga pose, but now I can. Progress is key, even if its slow, I am making peace with the fact that I need to accept that things take time and with the right amount of focus and positivity they can be achieved. Its so easy to put ourselves down and focus on what we can't do instead of what we can do. 

Neil always says to me, it's not a competition and if your not having fun doing something (sports related and other) then you should not be doing it. It should make you happy and make you feel good, it should not be effort or frustrate you. He is 100 percent right.

So for all the yoga fans lets make 2015 about getting on the mat with love, happiness, and positive intention!

I have always wanted a leather bag, mainly because I know what a good investment one is and the fact that every bag I have ever bought that is non-leather always ends up falling apart and is an overpriced waste. So I began doing some research and checking out various local leather brands and I also checked out some big retailers, but honestly, I could not justify spending thousands on a mass made product. OK, now I just sound a little pompous but bear with me here... 

I ran into a friend who mentioned this amazing leather bag she had seen at the Bay Harbour Market and it cost a smooth R450. At first I was thinking, sure sure thats cool but I doubt that is the price?!? I did some major research and found it all to be true and thus leading me to the Bay Harbour Market only to be found my dream bag was in actual fact, sold out.

Obviously I am thrilled that the company is doing so well and that their products literally fly off the very cool and hip racks that they sell them from, but my heart was a little broken. I phoned them and was reassured that they would be sold the following Saturday as the Biscuit Mill. So like a creepy stalker I hung around the stall before it had even opened and waited for the stock to arrive and then BAM! Dream leather bag and I became one. 

So who is this amazing brand you may ask? Well, its Called ROWDY and I am obsessed with them.



ROWDY believe "that customers receive value in the form of the hand crafted leather goods that are certified for life and priced at the levels that are fair for everyone involved and represent their true cost". I am so down with this! Another win is that the bags are locally made and each salesperson is trained and skilled to be empowered as entrepreneurs.

They do not sell any of their bags in stores, they keep to markets ( they also sell at various markets in Spain) and they now have a fantastic site where you can shop from directly.  (I waited for them to get more stock of the brown leather and settled on this beauty).