Oh hi 2015. Where did you come from??????

2014 taught me a lot, maybe a bit too much to share in one post, but what I did learn from 2014 is that I have some truly amazing, special and incredible people in my life who I have helped me grow and become a better person and also supported my journey and for that, I am beyond grateful! I challenged myself as a person and embraced a few things that I thought I could never do but actually can and I also began the journey of really understanding self belief. Not just surface level self belief, I am talking real, honest and raw self belief, in mind, body and spirit - this needs to be amplified in 2015. Big time.

I finished my studies in 2014 and did an incredible internship followed by an amazing holiday and christmas, and I have found myself in the last few week really reflecting on the last year and what I really want to achieve this year. 

Last year was pretty hectic, it was intense, there were some seriously good times and some seriously stressful times! There was a definite lack of balance in some areas - but that will change this year! HELL YEAH!!!!! 

Before the year ended I kicked off the fitness routine I have been longing to start. 2014 was a lot of stop start and lack of proper routine when it came to exercise which I found hugely frustrating. In the last few weeks I have done hot yoga, surf lessons, a hike, more yoga, ocean swims, gym, running and a forest walk. I know that once the year picks up it may not be as easy to maintain this much exercise, but I know for sure I WILL make a plan to fit it in no matter what - even if I have to do a plank on the kitchen floor while dinner is in the oven. Most importantly, it's going to be a whole lot of fun!

I have my first ever entry for the Old Mutual Two Oceans Half Marathon. OMW. To say I am nervous is an understatement. I actually come from a family of runners and I have always had this urge to run but since having an injury I have been fearful and held back a lot. I decided to enter so that I could simply not turn back. I have read a lot about training and running, I have spoken to people and worked out things about the sport that I didn't know or realise before. I am going to train hard, I am going to try my very best to do it. I hope that I will be able to achieve it and that the injury will not play up. (also, must get out of the habit of saying "I hope" or "if I do" need to change it to I will and I can). Another exciting challenge will be the Whale Trail in November so that means more mountain time which I am excited about! I don't want to hold back or be fearful anymore, I won't know unless I try and if it doesn't work I won't give up, I will try something that does. 

I started this year feeling a bit tender and emotional and I realised a lot of it comes from a place of worry. I realise that this year needs to have a fundamental shift in who I am as a person. I need to go from being a worrier to a warrior. Corny, but its 100 percent where I am at and where I need to be. I am by nature a perfectionist and of the mentally that "it is not good enough" well thats not going to get me anywhere, I mean hello! I have to let it go, do my best and give my all and what will be will be. I can't fight every single aspect of it. It's exhausting. Really! We are also always so quick to put ourselves down, or be too harsh on ourselves and it really is counterproductive. OWN IT!

I need to tap into my ability, my skills, my talent and my passion and start believing in myself. I realised how easy it is not too. 2014 I felt cautious, a bit nervous and scared (maybe a bit too defensive and guarded as well)  and for what? Its about taking risks, jumping in head first, doing, believing, living and having a total blast. I will be 27 years old this year and I realised how I actually need to let go, let live, breathe and go with the flow. My friend has this beautiful analogy about going with the flow; imagine you are floating or swimming down a river, you are on a journey and ready to embrace where the water takes you. If you try and swim back up stream and fight the currents and the water you are simply tiring yourself out and fighting against a natural flow and progression. That is the simple truth.