WHERE I AM MOST HAPPIEST - THE BEACH
Recently I recalled a conversation where the lady said that now days we say when people ask us how we are, instead of saying the usual "I am fine" we reply "I am just really busy". Well as she pointed out, that should really not be an excuse. I am guilty of this. This year I have had to turn down many social events, fun occasions, coffee catch ups and more because I have been really busy. Lame I know. I can't really explain myself but I can say that it has not been as excuse, but I still really hate saying it. If anything I have been lamenting the lack of social life I have had and the little time I get to spend with people who I don't get to see often.
When I started varsity three years ago I was a 100% convinced that I would only have lectures a couple hours a week, plenty of time to do variety of part-time jobs and loads of time to do whatever else I please. This has not been the case - at all. Not that I regret it for a second, but I am partly responsible for making it harder for myself. You see, I have always given my all, to a test, assignment or presentation, or pretty much anything really. I simply cannot and never have been able to go in halfheartedly. I am a little slow in my approach and could probably afford not agonise over if I am doing it right, wrong, or did I leave something out, study hard enough, study long enough, give my all, remember that one question from section two and did I manage to present everything correctly? Its not a confidence thing, Its an overachiever thing. I have to do it all and give my all.
I learnt recently that while its great that I do this, it is also not ideal to let work consume you to the point where your neglecting exercise, friends and cooking a proper nutritional meal. Of course the boyf is a massive overachiever as well and has taken in the most monumental task of working a full time job and studying a part time Masters degree. Not for the faint hearted. We have persevered, sat side by side at our desks on weekends, gotten through a mountain of assignments and exams, missed out on a lot of fun and put our minds into the right zone to get through this year. We both believe that if we push through and carry on for the next two months, we will well and truly be on the road to making our dreams come true.
While thats good and well, the biggest thing for both of us this year has been the lack of beach time, for him the lack of surf time, and while it is no excuse it is a reality, we have simply had too much to do and too little time, something that we have both realised we need to learn from and figure out a solution to so that we don't get stuck working and studying non stop all weekend. working through the weekend every weekend is a tough one, you need a break - everyone needs a break. I have mentioned before that I am on the constant path to try and find balance, friends, family, beach, exercise and me time. This year has taught me how incredibly important it is to make time for those things. I am hoping to start implementing these learnings and lessons as I go a long. If anyone has any tips for time management I am always keen to hear.
On Saturday the weather was nothing short of spectacular - and where was I? Oh yes, studying. I am always grateful to have the opportunities that I do in life and one of them is been able to study, but I am only human and my word, was I suffering from major fomo. To the point where I sat outside on the balcony and had a baby sob about the whole thing. The boyf and I discussed that if we worked hard and got through our work load on the Saturday we could have a full beach day on the Sunday! Yay! Queue second baby sob/moan/ whimpering and doing a set of crunches, because I am not beach/summer body ready, but thank goodness for a boyfriend who don't tolerate that kind of talk and who reminded their girlfriend that the original tears were because of been stuck in side on a beautiful day missing out on all the beach fun….not the state of my thighs…
So I put my head down and plugged away for the remainder of Saturday reminding myself of the end goal - pure beach bliss...
So I put my head down and plugged away for the remainder of Saturday reminding myself of the end goal - pure beach bliss...
Come Sunday we headed out to - Kogel Baai, Koel Baai, kiel Bay (which ever you prefer) or simply as I like to call it, a piece of paradise, for a full day of sun and fun. The waves were not brilliant but the boyf got some surf time in, and I got some much needed beach time in and catching up with friends. There is something magical about this beach, you feel like you are far away from Cape Town, far from commercialised beaches, the sound of cars, music and city noise, far from everything and best of all, no phone signal.
I swam in the sea with my favourite person, which is my most favourite thing to do, its the moment where I feel so free, so happy and so loved. It is the place where the water is not too cold and the sun is just perfect when it beats down on you, where you feel alive. I love diving in the waves and feeling the cold water wash away months and weeks of stress and pressure, I love feeling the sand all over my body, as ridiculous as it sounds, I have given up fighting the sand, I love everything about the beach and the sea. I took a moment and felt this huge sense of gratitude wash over me. I don't need material things, just give me more beautiful days where I can swim in the sea and lie on the beach. Give me the opportunity to be surrounded by people I love, laughing and joking and breathing in the beauty that surrounds me.
I also got absolutely thrashed by a wave and swallowed about a litre of salt water, and I simply got up, covered in sand and had the best, most hearty, most happy laugh that I haven't had in ages. So yes I will always love the beach and what it offers me - and its so close and totally achievable and the only person who can make it happen in actual fact - is me. I Need to find the time, keep the motivation.
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We have made some small changes, we have been going for walks on weekends before we start out work load, or taking time to make plans to see people. we have booked a proper holiday break in December for a few days and we are also making plans for next year, small goals to keep us motivated. We are not brilliant at this whole time management thing but we are trying our best. I am most grateful that we have each other and we can support each other through it. I am not perfect and nor is the life I lead but I do know that small changes can lead to bigger ones, so I am trying to be less hard on myself, less pushing and stressing, more calm and collected, more at ease that things will happen and fall into place and more motivated to achieve my work load and get things done so I can be back on the beach mainly :)
4 COMMENTS
Yay! So glad you got your beach day and are planning more breaks :) Balance baby, balance.
ReplyDeleteWorking on it! :) now I need to up my fitness to your level!!! and get outside and enjoy nature more :) x
DeleteAhh I love heading out to Koel Bay. It really is like a mini cleanse for ones soul there.
ReplyDeletep.s you look amazing!!!
XoXo One Stiletto At a Time
Thank you lovely! You are too kind x
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