For a while now I have felt like I want to do more with my blog. Be more honest, be more truthful about my life. I love posting beautiful things, inspiration and  positive up beat happy thoughts, I really do. But then sometimes I lie in bed and think about how I want to say all these things on my blog, but I don't. For some reason I have cared what others think. It had to stop. For goodness sake we are all human, I guess If you don't want to read it you simply don't have to, If you don't enjoy it or find it funny or sad or think I am negative, or positive or a moaner or whatever then thats fine. I should be stoked someone reads it at all :)

So here is to the being more honest about my life, my thoughts, my dreams my feelings, my passions, my good days, bad days, weird moments, life lessons and simple joys. Let us start with some honest goals:

No more expectations of others. You cannot change people, either learn to accept them or move on.

less spending. I don't know how it happens, but you get sucked into the creepy space where buying meaningful, useless things doesn't actually for fill you, well it does, for  a few hours and then it doesn't. This year I have to really save, not for anything fancy, not for a fab holiday or a new dress, but because I will be 26 years old next month and have to do some honest, future planning. Also, over buying rubbish that just makes me feel worse and having an over excess of everything that I really should not (like a ridiculous amount of nail polish, no man, it is just wrong).

Less doubt - I am the QUEEN of this, and I increasingly become more paralysed by fear because of it. I need to learn to OWN IT. Own who I am, what I stand for and how I feel. Not so flipping meek and mild when I should be strong.

Be free to express my emotions. If the people in my life don't dig it, cheers. I had the worst year of my life in 2013, it was a quarter life crisis dammit, death and illness and if I cry or feel sad or miss my dad or feel tons of regret for not messaging him the night before I will. A good cry is a good cry

Less superficial shit. Less spending on clothes and other stuff, more investing in time with special people doing special things that actually create memories and laughter. More experiences and more lessons

Less justification, less explaining myself, my life, my situation, my emotions, my everything. Enough is enough

Less angry more breathing - I struggle to show sadness and the feeling of being sad and hurt by ACTUALLY feeling those things. I always end up pretty angry, anger is time wasting and pointless

Less talking more listening. I can't be right always and sometimes I think I am. 

More walking, yoga, eating right, eating chocolate when I want and not feeling bad for any of it. 

More getting out there, finding internships, getting my CV up to date, getting my priorties right

More beach time, outdoors time, experiencing what this beautiful city has to offer

Making an effort because I wan't to not because I have to

More cooking, yes way more cooking and making mess ups and learning and enjoying

Must actually use my dads beautiful camera, he always wanted me to take pics and always wanted to be a photographer - he took some beautiful ones

Being nicer, I can be very craggy and judgemental 

Educating myself on topics and things that interest me. 

Maybe not be too hard on myself

BASICALLY just being a more honest person for myself and my peace of mind and for this blog to actually have a deeper purpose and allow me to express myself :)