MONDAY

by - 5:00:00 PM



I am pretty anxious for varsity to start. It is my third and final year. Oh shit. The panic mixed with excitement is overwhelming. 

I am not good at doing nothing. Last year I didn't manage to get a part time job as I hoped. Because life kicked me in the ass and the fun thing about having meningitis is the headaches, the tiredness and the fact that I spent awhile in hospital. I am hoping to fit something in this year and I am not sure what yet. (worked since the age of 15 at various awful and soul destroying part time jobs, with a few awesome ones in-between so this is a tough one).

I do well at varsity because I work my bum off. I am not naturally smart and for me to understand something I have to literally learn it over and over and over (CRY endlessly and drive everyone around me mad - bit of an overachiever). I like varsity and I like the challenge. I miss my little class and the dynamics. I miss how we can be so against each other and so united all at once. I miss the work, the stress of 'how will I fit this in?'.

 I turn 26 in a weeks time. I feel restless. Older, less care free. More and more real and grown up issues have to be faced on a daily basis.  It is comforting and frustrating. I have tried to stay busy this holiday, I struggle to sit still, sit down and relax. It makes me feel oddly guilty like I need to explain myself. It makes me miss my dad actually. If I have too much fun I feel bad or wish he was here to tell. Weird.

Loads of positive things in the pipeline and I am excited for new beginnings that this year still has to offer me. :) and varsity! I miss it and can't wait to get back in and them complain I wish I was still on Holiday :) 

I am exercising more patients, more listen less talk. Its nice to know I am trying new things. I still find I get a bit caught up but then I try let it go. Life is short yo - breathe :)

I cooked amazing egg fried rice this weekend and I feel super proud. Even more so when my boyfriend calls it by its cool Indonesian name :)

My friend Colette (one of those people who is jaw dropping beautiful, smart - like finance and business smart, as well as life, wisdom, religion, human nature smart. Stylish, artist and all round basically the most honest soul I have ever met) came to stay with me. She always inspires me. this time it is to draw, so I am doing more weird little doodle-shape-flower things that I will post at some point :) It is nice and relaxing, distracting and freeing. I like free handing and sometimes using a ruler or a circle to trace around.

I have some cool things to look forward to and that's what is keeping me going. Next week we are off to visit a friend of my moms and I cannot wait! Have to stop messing around and actually get my dads camera out and use it!

Could kick myself, attempted to revive some old T-shirts that looked a bit shoddy and totally messed them up. urrghh

I need to drink in this beautiful weather more, more Sea Point pool sessions and more beach. Might as well take advantage of the student life while I can right? (say yes - someone, please).

Had a romantic braai for two on Saturday - red wine and lamb chops with the sweet tunes in the background aaaaaah bliss :)

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